1. peclub-shots:

Ten years from now, I hope this will still be us. We’ll stay up until two in the morning on a city rooftop after a week of nail biting stress. We’ll complain and complain and complain. And then we’d stop all at once, because the seventeen year olds we all were when we became friends would not want us complaining on a gorgeous rooftop in Chicago or Pittsburgh or Seattle. And for some reason we wouldn’t care that our ex-lovers won’t pick up their belongings they left in our apartment or that our bosses think we’re entitled, ignorant, unexperienced youths or how angry we are that we can afford apple juice but we can’t afford apples. Maybe it’s the strawberry champagne or the quieting of the streets after rush hour or the soft glow of the strung up lights, or maybe it’s all of the above. We’ll just sit quietly overwhelmed while simultaneously at peace. And that will be perfectly okay. Because even ten years from now, we’ll still appreciate silences as much and we did when we traced the corners of tennis courts during our high school gym class.

    peclub-shots:

    Ten years from now, I hope this will still be us. We’ll stay up until two in the morning on a city rooftop after a week of nail biting stress. We’ll complain and complain and complain. And then we’d stop all at once, because the seventeen year olds we all were when we became friends would not want us complaining on a gorgeous rooftop in Chicago or Pittsburgh or Seattle. And for some reason we wouldn’t care that our ex-lovers won’t pick up their belongings they left in our apartment or that our bosses think we’re entitled, ignorant, unexperienced youths or how angry we are that we can afford apple juice but we can’t afford apples. Maybe it’s the strawberry champagne or the quieting of the streets after rush hour or the soft glow of the strung up lights, or maybe it’s all of the above. We’ll just sit quietly overwhelmed while simultaneously at peace. And that will be perfectly okay. Because even ten years from now, we’ll still appreciate silences as much and we did when we traced the corners of tennis courts during our high school gym class.

  2. the heart monitor read not the beat of your heart, but told us of all the mountains yet to climb. and I won’t deny the fact that there is a chance your body will not give you the tomorrow you hoped for, the one where you feel the crumble of the earth between your toes one more time. If that’s how it goes, I will for you. I’m not equating my sole to yours, but I’m hoping maybe we’ll both find serenity somewhere beyond these hospital gowns. But I promise I’ll take whatever is left of you with me, barefooted and all. 

    and I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is all we have. I’m sorry we never had the chance to abuse our bodies like we promised we would. we watched tv shows about teenagers with morning hangovers drowned in smoke and sweats, and we dreamed that that would be us as soon as we were in remission. but the only trips we ever took were to the bathroom, so we could sit and puke our twenty four hour chemo hangover. we weren’t ever disappointed, because we knew such an amount of hope was too abstract of a concept for our desires to ever become true. but maybe tomorrow will finally bring the out of body experience we always talked about.

    and if there’s no heaven or hell or any form of afterlife for that matter, I’ll take whatever is left of you and throw you into the air that would be too thin for you to have breathed. you’ll float across the valleys and every grain of your dust will be laughing because this wasn’t what you meant when you said you wanted to be part of the world again. but it’s the best I can do.

  3. "They would die. They would all die after trudging through lives in which they were neither happy or unhappy."
    Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
  4. "She ached with an almost unbearable emotion that she could not name. It was nostalgic and melancholy, a beautiful sadness for the things she missed and the things she would never know."
    Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
  5. you haven’t called in the past nine days, and I’m beginning to think you like the silence.

  6. These afternoon heat waves bring humid air and mint lemonade with an aftertaste that leaves you feeling melancholy. The air is so still. Although sometimes it feels like you could drown in it. And sometimes I feel heartbroken by life. like the world broke up with me.

  7. self-reflection all across.

  8. morning kisses warmer than the tea.

    morning kisses warmer than the tea.

About me

catalina.
welcome to my miscellanea.

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